Ideas from Nature

Ardent admirers of Mother Nature are naïve in some ways. For them, all developments made by homo sapiens have their roots in nature, be it discoveries, inventions, artistic form of expressions like dances, music and so on, sciences and technologies including. At first glance, many examples which readily come to mind appear to strengthen such a view.

Beaver must have given the ideas to build dams; birds must have hardened the human dreams to fly and fish for swimming; fire flies gave idea for lights; serpents and jackals have become a basis to start a class of unique people called politicians; peacock must have given inspiration for dance and some other birds for singing; brilliant scenery made him to capture it on canvas. Bees and ants must have given ideas of forming social systems. Several living creatures must have given early teachings on collective living to human beings. Some birds have given ideas to migrate to other continents. Apple is known to have played a major role in understanding gravity. Bird nests might have given ideas to build early homes; squirrels have given the ideas of warehouses for food storage and rodents gave ideas for tunnels. Examples galore.

Such views look like an expression of rhapsody on nature. That, by no means implies that man had not made any original contributions on his own without leaning on nature for inspiration or catalysts for ideas. Far from it. For instance, the entire technology of spiraling prices is brilliantly conceived by human mind. Many a nation have thrived on early use of such technologies and flourished and many other doomed as well due to consequent runaway inflations and associated manmade disasters. It is worthy to note that one technology derived inspiration from this man-made one and develops space vehicles that go faster than the escape velocity of planets is space technology!

UIGAC ®

To err is human. We all know that. So is: to sin is more human. Few centuries back there flourished a certain theological institution which permitted any sinner to make confession in a recognized place of worship, draw a cheque for the prescribed sum i.e., not less than the tariff fixed commensurate to the gravity of the offence and carefully put in the drop-box kept aside for the purpose and get absolved through His representative. This system had its virtues. One could murder neighbor or adversary or anyone for that matter – not just one, more if need be – and get His complete absolution on no questions asked basis, get a clean chit from High (note capital h) command, keep head high and live in society, sleep like a baby in the night with ones soul at complete peace with itself.

Extinction of such a wonderful system, or absence of its equivalent, is more acutely felt in today’s society than at any other point in human history. People can manage clean chits from party high command, have the cases withdrawn by CBI in Supreme Court, and ensure that judge uncles rule (for more details read Supreme Court’s remarks on Allahabad High Court made on 26th Oct 2010) in their favor with little or no punishment, get Rathore style smirk back on face, and get respect (!) back from society as though nothing happened but not the baby-like-sleep since the silly thing called conscience still pricks. Offerings like diamond studded golden crown weighing a ton to Lord Balaji coupled with daily dose of sedative pills before going to bed provide no real solace but they do make an avoidable hole in the pocket.

In the aforesaid context, it makes immense business sense to start a Universal Institution to Grant Absolution Certificates and Tarantula is intending to open shortly. All the sinners are encouraged to send their non-refundable remittances directly to the Swiss account of UIGAC® by obtaining the tariffs and bank code for remittances and obtain soft copy of the certificate through 1024-byte state-of-the-art encryption system. All Pakistan printed counterfeit certificates are invalid in His land. Short payments made by incomplete confession are invalid. For example, once a Raja or Raju makes full confessional payment, his kith and kin can enjoy the loot as though it is earned properly in His eyes. Our Certificates are designed for lamination at sinner’s end and can be conveniently kept below the pillow at the time of sleeping. Stolen or Xerox or multiple copies of certificates are invalid. You may note that UIGAC has no braches or representatives in any part of this Universe. Taxes as applicable and other T&C apply.

Those unfortunate few who are yet to sin may send their c.v. for few vacant positions on the board of UIGAC.

Never Too Late

Shri Bholaram Das of Assam made a splash on 16th October 2010 by announcing his enrolment for PhD program in Gauhati University on his 99th Birthday i.e., 100th year of his existence. One of his grand-daughters is going to be his thesis advisor. There is more than one lesson in this communique. Age is no bar for learning though it does not necessarily mean that one should procrastinate basic learning forever. Next lesson is that it does not really matter from whom you learn; at least age-wise i.e., whether it is from someone of grandchild’s age or great-grandchild’s.

From now on, all application forms need to be reprinted to have three boxes to fill-in age as against the current practice of two boxes. In an age where phone numbers are going to become 11 digit long as against present 10 digits and IPv4 IP addresses are being replaced by IPv6, this should have been anticipated. But, that is a minor irritant, to be frank.

In cricketing parlance, nervous nineties is a well known phenomenon. Now that Shri Bholaram is past 99, he need not be nervous at all and during his learning, play his natural game.

Suresh Kalmadi

It is time for all Indians to unite and stand by Suresh Kalmadi on the eve of CWG-2010. He had done a yeomen service to the nation and that needs immediate recognition. All the criticism which is being heaped on him is totally unfair.


Kalmadi is an Indian first. He had a great vision to make India sweep all the medals at CWG without leaving even a single bronze to other countries, possibly without inaugurating the games. He had been planning it for several years and executing with gusto.

Most people from so-called developing nations lack the wonderful immune system we Indians possess. We are immune to anything and everything. Other nations realized their handicap. They are jealous. They cry foul about the conditions in Games village, floods, dengue, falling structures, security and anticipated nation wide riots on or after 24th September 2010 and so on. If they have no such grandiose situations back at their homes, how can India be held responsible?

Has anyone heard of Olympics getting conducted in the Clean Rooms of Silicon Valley? Little bit of dust, aroma and other things will certainly enrich the sporting experience. In the ancient Olympic Games village in Greece there is no evidence of any Glamour Room. Why should we have them in CWG village? Aren’t there enough open spaces in and around CWG village? Man is a product of nature and it is time he comes out of ivory towers and glass houses to freely commune with nature and become an integral part of it.

Well done, Suresh Kalmadi! Keep it up. Ignore your detractors. Aim for Olympics now and make India sweep all medals and take it to Olympic Heights.

Happy Birthday

Coming from an area that has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the world, your Tarantula has every reason to celebrate its one year of survival so far, having announced arrival on blogosphere on 23 September 2009 at 22.30 IST. It happens to be an Equinox day. Does is portend anything? This is 75th baby step in the form of posts in both the Political and Apolitical blogs combined. Transitioning now from infancy to a toddler?

Present day life is almost entirely governed by Politics in one form or other. At first sight it appears that two blogs titles are one too many and one alone suffices. After all, arachnids weave two types of gossamer threads but tread only on one without getting entangled in the other! Authors are a stubborn lot and your budding blog-author Tarantula is no exception: desires to segregate political ones from not so political and hence the Apolitical blog too.

There is nothing in the world that pleases all; it is also true of these posts and some of them drew criticism. Healthy criticism is democratic and we shall honor and agree to disagree.

Incidentally, this happens to be the 75th post (44th under Apolitical and there are 31 in Political), which makes this a sort of Platinum posting!

Thanks a zillion for the nourishment supplied by you in the form of encouragement.

Why Take a Donation?

Everyone knows that several parts of Pakistan are ravaged by unprecedented floods in the last few weeks. Several days ago India offered a relief of USD 10 million which was promptly rejected by its best neighbor. Our PM offered more and announced relief of USD 20 million and still Pakistan did not stretch its hand to take it and tried all sorts of methods to avoid taking relief. US went on record instructing Pak to accept the relief. At last, albeit reluctantly, Pak accepted the relief today and our benevolent PM duly offered yet another USD 20 million to Pakistan!

Many people fail to understand the reluctance of Pak in accepting monetary help from India. The fact is Pak has a massive industry to manufacture counterfeit currency of neighboring India’s Rupee Notes of higher denominations and of other advanced countries like US. This industry is so important to Pakistan’s economy which also helps in bridging the massive budgetary deficit of its home grown and military and govt. sponsored terrorist groups. This industry alone provides self-sufficiency to Pak like nothing else.

No wonder India and US failed to understand Pak’s hesitance. Pak’s perception is clear: why accept 20M USD when it can print 20B USD or its equivalent in INR in a single day by burning midnight oil?

C W G

Do you remember those twelve tasks we read as children and in particular Hercules' (Heracles) Fifth Labor, the one involved in cleaning the filthy Augean stables in a single day? It is indeed gratifying to note that both Hercule Poirot and Asterix found it worthy to emulate twelve tasks in their own special ways. It was a humanly impossible task to clean accumulated filth in a day. Instead of employing a shovel and a basket, our childhood hero diverted two rivers through the stable yard and got the job done without getting dirty. I wonder what he will do if he were given an assignment to clean the present day filth accumulated in the form of corruption related to forthcoming Commonwealth Games in Delhi.

One corporate brags: Impossible is Nothing. For us in India corruption is nothing. Also, nothing is nothing! It is part and parcel of our daily existence and we draw our sustenance only through the media of corruption. But for the British Queen who made a big fuss, we would have ignored CWG corruption since we are all familiar with countless Olympic size corruptions. Queen being a Queen, has the prerogative of getting furious over allegations of corruption involving Commonwealth Games. How can a common man afford to get furious? Even a Prime Minister can not get furious. Couple of days back our beloved Prime Minister went on to inspect CWG venues and was spell bound at the beauty of stadia and paid accolades to them. Alas I am no Keats; otherwise I would have penned few poems.

Hercules needed two rivers to clean the stables. We have only one River Yamuna near the CWG venues stinking of corruption, not to mention the NCR. With only one River flowing by, he can do precious little. We are running short of time. The best that can still be done under the circumstances is to hold CWG as per the original schedule by stepping on the pedal, change gears and speed up the processes and focus only on CWG i.e., Corruption Without any Games.

Indian Common Man – 2010 and Vote of Thanks

The media miserably failed in driving the importance of once in a lifetime mega event which took place in the city of Hyderabad (Deccan) during this month of August 2010. Common men knew virtually nothing about it. This is an indication of the poverty of our media (which comprises of few hundred TV channels and some dozens of daily newspapers) and their lopsided priorities. For our Fourth Estate and its visual equivalent, covering an event means publishing the photo of the dignitary formally inaugurating the event but not the event itself! Neither the prizewinners nor their life time work seems to matter, let alone other distinguished speakers.

Nearly six months back yours truly offered a National news paper and another City based one, to send out on weekly basis, brief notes on the works of young mathematicians world over (with an admittedly intended bias towards those of Indian origin) primarily to reach out the young readers and make a feeble attempt to influence them to pursue the path of mathematics. Our media felt such coverage is totally unwarranted and did not respond!

In one of the earlier blog posts, Tarantula wished Anand a score of 38-2-0 or better and it is indeed gratifying to note that Anand scored 39-1-0.

We all need to express our gratitude to TRS activists for having resumed their activities only on the day after the formal conclusion of the event.

We need to express our gratitude to Kapil Sibal et. al. for adding some life and spice to the lack luster news coverage by way of asking a four time world champion to prove his national identity which was not apparent to Indian bureaucracy! G. K. Chesterton wrote in an essay “…will call a spade a spade; but only when it is a grave-digger's spade” which is true of most of us on most occasions but not when it comes to Prof. Rajat Tandon. Can someone clarify whether our HRD Ministry recognizes a PhD from Yale? I sincerely hope Sibal does not start digging. On the otherwise insipid cake presented by the media, Sibal's is definitely a tasty icing.

An Hour of Imprisonment per Murder

"What's in a name? That which we call a murder
By any other name would disgust as much."

Shakespeare would have surely said something akin to that; that is, if he were alive in December 1984. Whatever be the legal terminology, the fact remains that a murder is a murder is a murder irrespective of the the name given to confuse ordinary people.

Over a generation back, to be more precise, around midnight on the intervening night of December 2–3, 1984 a man-made tragedy struck. Over 16,000 lost lives, some immediately and others in following weeks, as a result of release of methyl isocyanate (MIC) gas and other toxins, resulting in the exposure of over 500,000 people. State government estimates are much lower, as normally is the case in India, and its figures can not be relied upon. The actual tragedy is more gruesome than what mere numbers can tell. Most of the money meant for relief of victims has gone onto the pockets of politicians, babus, lawyers and middlemen; hundreds of thousands continue to lead miserable lives which is perhaps worse than death and the effect may continue for some generations, hopefully with diminishing intensity.

Indian judicial system is designed around the ancient concept of kshama (Sanskrit: "patience; forbearance and pardon"); albeit in a completely messed up manner. It is kshama given to convicts at the expense of their victims and victimizing the victims further.

This trial took 19 judges to preside over the case in good 26 years. The judgment which came very late gave punishment of two years imprisonment to surviving seven of the eight convicts. This works out to an hour of imprisionment for every murder and completely absolved for leaving a million or two as living dead. UCIL got fined by Rupees five lakhs (around USD 10,000) which is perhaps much smaller than their accounting rounding off error! This is some judgment!

Abha R.

From the times immemorial there is hardly any girl born and brought up in India who was not taught the stories of Savitri and Satyavan, Arundhati and Vasishtha, Damayanti and Nala and so on with the emphasis on the female member of those famous couples. There is hardly any need to recapitulate the significance of these women in Indian mythology and their impact on Indian society. There are numerous pairs in non-Indian mythologies like Romeo-Juliet, Laila-Majnu, Shirin-Farhad and so on who are internationally recognized tragic lovers. Unlike these tragic women, aforesaid Indian women set an eternal example to the entire womanhood and give a meaning to their very existence!


The entire episode of Ruchika Girhotra which lasted two decades is a saga of triumph of evil over good, smirking face over sad faces, powerful people over innocent, two year imprisonment over death by suicide and a family implicated in false cases.


The entire nation is glued to the news coverage by media and had a sigh of relief when the court verdict increasing the punishment to Shambhu Pratap Singh Rathore to two years of imprisonment, which came recently, which is of course subject to his appeals to the higher courts. Justice prevailed at last? India felt as though it has won a World War against injustice and also swept all the medals in Olympics.

Everyone missed out on the role of Abha Rathore. She stood by her husband like Savitri, Arundhati and Damayanti combined, a three-in-one. She proved herself no less than this troika of virtuous women from epics. She stood by her husband in good and not-so-good times; fought by his side, being a lawyer-cum-wife, knowing fully well that her husband is not an epitome of good character. This is what the girls were taught as their duty when they get married. After all, it is a known rule that at any given point of time at least half the lawyers are supposed to fight on the side of evil. If wife does not fight on behalf of an evil husband, who else will?

It is neither a right thing to rewrite epics nor easy, but there is nothing wrong in appending a modern epilogue by adding a chapter, for the education of girls of present and future generations, on SPS-Abha.

Teenagers Graduating to Adult Games

Abductions, rapes, murders, shoot-outs, blackmails, deploying hired assassins etc. etc. are all familiar adult sports, world over, until the end of second millennium. Acid throwing, eve teasing, ragging and such others were primary games played by teenagers, particularly in the countries like India. Readers of international, national and local news cannot fail to notice that such sports are no longer confined to the adults or teenagers respectively. Age barriers have melted down. Lot of teenagers are catching up with adults and have been acquiring the necessary skill-set and perfecting them, perhaps with an intention of making it their trade as they grow up and make a niche place for themselves in the society. Surely, the big and small screens (also the smaller ones on desktop/laptop and mobile screens) have immensely contributed to the learning process involved in it. A fait accompli?.

It is certainly an alarming trend to note that many kids who are below the teen-age bracket have started practicing these teenage and adult games with impunity and with significant success. It is difficult for the analysts, sociologists and criminologists to understand whether it is due to:

a) Children are growing up faster than ever before b) aforesaid screen based media has been imparting more education than necessary c) it is a paradigm shift brought in by the third millennium d) factors, which are yet to be identified, or e) a combination of all these factors, which is here to stay.

All the common people in our society including you and me, moralists, social workers, politicians, lawmakers, law-enforcers are all busy playing the games appropriate to their age and social hierarchy. None has time to notice these nascent visible trends let alone take measures to reverse them.

As civilization progresses, we cannot retard the advancement of the people and the society. There is precious little we can do to make people play games, according to the prevailing age groups. However, not all is lost. We can redefine age groups based on the games people play in contemporary society and remove the anomaly. The solution lies in bringing in a legislation and make a constitutional amendment to redefine the age groups in line with current realities so that broadly people fall into the age groups based on the games they play, at least for some more time. This might restore the social order to a reasonable level. Let us trust that such a move gets the wholehearted support of the elected representatives of both the houses of Parliament.

Champion’s Champion

In the world of Sports, Champions come and go every year. A Champion of Champions alone makes a lasting impression. Neither an Icelandic volcano nor an unscalable Bulgarian mountain summit called Veselin Topalov could stop one made of sterner stuff. The Champion stands tall among champions.

Topalov is not a chess player to be trifled with. He is Houdini of Chess in difficult situations, a great escape artist. He is an outstanding player of our times known for his ability to discover a winning line in an apparently drawn position and his opponents respect him for what he is capable of doing at the board of 64 square game. He is one of the few players in Chess history with 2800+ ELO rating.

Anand comes with the handicap like most Indian prodigies. India prides itself in nipping its talent in its bud. Indians, as a rule, do not get the same type of governmental and organizational support, which Russian, Chinese and several other European child prodigies get. What makes Anand different from others is he made a place for himself with his genius and humility, parental support and some nominal corporate support. Spain treats him as its son-of-the-soil. He locked horns with Bulgarian in Bulgaria to triumph and prove all pundits wrong.

The Chess is no longer what it used to be; it has changed dramatically as no other sport in last two decades. Now the Chess Championship matches are not mere three-week long chain of games. They are full-fledged world wars not even battles. Starting with Spassky vs. Fischer match, which is a war between two super-powers to prove their hegemony where the players were mere pawns of immense talent, gradually Chess Championships have become Wars of Science and Technology thrown in. These players spend anywhere from 6 months to 1 year to prepare for World Championship match, assisted by a battery of chess talent known as seconds. The winner is the one who is able to execute the plan most precisely in the tension ridden silent playing hall over a three-week long duration. With the advent of super-computers, database of virtually complete set games played till date and being played at any given moment, (the record of which is, of course, available), numerous knowledge-based tools to analyze the games, one can not afford to play a game (or unaware), at highest level, or a line which is already known. Every single game needs innovation, a new approach and variation and of course, an element of surprise.

The overall Championship Plan does not stop with planning the lines of chess games, it goes beyond; Game Theory, Psychology, Guerilla Warfare (ambush), counter-guerilla warfare (anticipation, contingency planning) etc. also come into play. Among all sports, there is not any sport, which is more taxing than Chess at its highest level. It is a truly open sport where a five year old girl novice can take on a nonagenarian former world (male) chess champion.

Sadly, Chess, not being a hit-and-run street game, may not become a national sport or a popular one in the country of its origin in near future.

Chess talent is waiting in the wings to take the mantle forward from ageing Anand. Inevitably, it is a matter of some more years. Yet, Anand is bound to be remembered as one of the greatest sports personalities of all time in the world of sports, by discerning few.

What is not a Fake?

As per RBI, some of the currency in circulation in the denominations of Rs. 1,000 and 500 are fake and they are called counterfeit.

The stamp paper you buy for registering a property or for some legal purpose may also be a fake.

The Nobel Prize medal of Tagore kept in a museum got stolen and the one displayed is a replacement.

The boundaries of mines owned by mining magnets, on their own, get extended.

The boundaries of nations are disputed.

Someone who poses as CBI or ACB or police official is an impostor.

Diplomat with IFS tag could be a spy.

The certificates produced by politicians, prospective govt. employees and students indicate caste depending on the reservation made against it. The reason why some politicians are against 33% reservation for women is that it is somewhat more difficult, but not entirely impossible, to fake their sex.

University selling a degree may be non-existing, apart from being a doomed one.

Most of the beggars are not poor. They beg since it is an easy way out.

The infants carried by begging women are not theirs; they are hired at the current ruling rates of Rs. 125 to 175 per day. Their working day may have fewer working hours; perhaps till the next feed time of the infant.

Lady giving birth to a child of some other biological couple is a surrogate mother.

The medicines you buy might have expired and got relabeled; and with a good probability, may also be fake and they are known as spurious.

The doctor you visit may be armed with a degree and registration certificate purchased at a street corner in Bangalore and practicing illegally.

The weights used by vendors are not certified for correct weight (they are manufactured with a lesser weight so that govt. authorities can add suitable quantity of lead and certify for the correct weight with their seal); they are underweight and the liquid measures will have dents!

The meters in autos and taxis, including the electronic ones, display excess fare and they are tampered.

The meters in Petrol bunks read higher liters and rupees and they are also tampered apart from the fact that the Petrol is adulterated.

The tickets sold outside a cinema hall have a color called black.

The people encircling you near Regional Passport Office / Regional Transport Office or a monument are not employees or guides; they are touts.

Person selling you a plot of land may not be its owner.

For a failed internet based transaction, you may get back refund of transaction value in due course abut not the tax, service charge and the cess paid on the transaction value. Shall we call it a tax on non-transaction?

The news of police encounters with terrorists or military with enemies you read in papers are well articulated.

The goods you buy in Parry’s Corner is smuggled.

The Rolex you may dare to buy could be a replica.

In this world full of fakes, we should be happy that our politicians are genuine.

Last but not the least; the name of your blogger is not Tarantula. It is only his pseudonym!

Sinister Spinster

Recall Miss Marple, a fictional creation of Agatha Christie, without whom the English literature would have been poorer by some ten novels and few stories. This elegant armchair spinster detective has a charm of her own and endowed with the intricate knowledge of rural people and their psychology, which invariably proved helpful to the Scotland Yard in solving the cases in and around her area.

We have numerous female spies, both blonde and brunette, created by Ian Fleming and almost all ended up with providing much needed succor to the tired body of our beloved 007 at the end of the day!

In the exotic world of detectives and spies, our own Madhuri Gupta, a spinster, is a class by herself. Until the other day, no one suspected her to be an international spy. She has IFS tag, also works as a junior diplomatic official in the Ministry of External Affairs. Some complain that she is not in the same league as Mata Hari and Virginia Hall. Tarantula does not approve any such remarks, which are, obviously, made with superficial knowledge of the extent of her activities.

Admittedly, it is difficult to understand her motives behind sharing of information with our neighbor. May be she strongly felt that RTI Act should be extended to brothers beyond the unnatural boundaries made by partitioning the country and started acting on this impulse. As readers are aware, India takes few decades to decide on the punishment, if any, but certainly GoP might not take as many days in awarding Madhuri Gupta their hightest civilian honor Nishan-e-Pakistan.

Nature’s Gifts – Not for Us

Air is polluted by industries and poisoned by politician’s speeches; one has no option but to breathe, until his/her last breath. Era of buying fresh air has dawned. Go; buy a can of it, if you can.

Water is mixed with sewerage and industrial effluents. If you have a tenner or more, buy a litre and litter the earth with PET bottle. Remember, our Babus do not drink municipality-supplied drinking water.

Land is needed to build a hut to live? Shell out your life’s savings to buy in retail from land sharks or Dinakarans who grab it in hundreds of acres at a time, free of cost.

Mineral Resources are meant for few people to mine away, never mind legally or otherwise, and bribe politicians and Babus en-route to amassing thousands of crores.

Forest Wealth is for brigands, forest officials and politicians; we have no right to enjoy even the indirect benefits of forestry as they are indiscriminately cut down.

Bandwidth Spectrum is least understood of the natural resources and handful of people own it as they paid thousands of crores as auction price and bribes. Pay to use a negligible fraction of it.

Rains Feel like getting drenched and dancing in the first rains of monsoon? Beware, now it is highly acidic.

Vegetables and Fruits come with a pinch of pesticides and fertilizer residues. You have an option of GM/BT varieties together with not so well established consequences.

SOON TO COME

Sunlight, if used in lieu of erratic and expensive electricity may become taxable in one of the forthcoming budgets.

Moonlight or Scenic Beauty may be enjoyed in future by paying ‘enjoyment tax’.

ALREADY EXTINCT

Sounds of Chirping Birds are only available in recorded versions as most birds are on fast track of extinction.

“I count, therefore I count…”

“I count, therefore I count…” is a slogan on one of the posters for forthcoming ICM 2010.

While people around the world can count from one, Indians can boast of their ability to count from zero. After all, this concept of zero has its roots in India and perhaps it is the most pervasive of all.

“I count, therefore I count...”

Hyderabad has a reason to be proud of hosting the forthcoming event from August 19 to 27, 2010. It is the first ever opportunity India has to host this quadrennial event held from 1897, barring during the periods of World Wars I & II. India will be the third Asian country with this privilege after Kyoto (Japan) in 1990 and Beijing (China) in 2002.

ICM-2010 watchers have a lot to look forward. Who is going to get Fields Medal in 2010, who will get first ever Chern Prize, if Lilavati Prize contemplated by GOI takes off, who is this worthy woman mathematician and who are going to be the winners of other coveted prizes.

Perhaps, the most important question is whether the efforts to make Grisha (Grigori Yakovlevich Perelman) participate fructifies; which is, in an inexplicable way, related to whether he agrees to receive the first Clay Millennium Prize Problems award.

ICM would also feature a chess match between world champion Viswanathan Anand and 40 delegates; Tarantula wishes Vishy Anand 38(wins)-2(draws)-o(no losses) or even better against this group of august August delegates.

One disturbing aspect is that even a non-believer has no option but pray that event takes place smoothly with what all going on in the city of Hyderabad and the havoc caused by the variety of disruptionists.

Life and Uncertainty

What makes life interesting is the element of uncertainty - not in just one aspect, but in every aspect and at every moment. It is uncertainty, which is the essence of life and without which life becomes so drab and perhaps not worth living. Will a gambler gamble but for the uncertainty involved and his misplaced confidence that he somehow mastered it?

The chance of birth itself vastly varies on several factors. If the fetus is that of a female, its chance of survival beyond few minutes after its detection (which is illegal in India), is low in several states in India. Its survival depends on numerous factors like whether it is a resultant out of wedlock, whether parents are ready to invite the baby into family, financial status of its parents, if it is ‘n’th child, on that number ‘n’ itself, healthcare facilities available and the affordability factor, infantile mortality rates of that country and that section of society and so on.

Soon after birth, anything can happen; for instance, stray dogs in the government hospital can snatch away the baby for breakfast; another woman hovering around can snatch away with the connivance of the hospital staff and sell for a tidy sum, faulty incubator can burn the baby and co-residents of the baby and leave a combined pile of ashes. If it were a child born with a deformity, granny or midwife would end its life even before mother gets a first look; this is more of a norm in India rather than an exception.

If by chance blood obtained from a blood bank is transfused, there is no guarantee that it is free of AIDS or such other deadly deceases. One is never sure whether the doctor is performing the surgery in a private hospital or his school going kid eager to become a doctor one day is performing. Never ask questions like whether the doctor is actually qualified or not - there are no right answers. For someone hospitalized, there is no guarantee that doctor will not steal a kidney to make a pile of money elsewhere. None of these is figments of imagination of an author habituated to writing horror stories. These are regular happenings even in major metros of India.

It is difficult to give an exhaustive exposition in a brief post of a blog. There is no guarantee that the medicines taken are still effective or have long expired, not to mention whether it is a dummy pill or a spurious drug or actual medicine. There is no guarantee whether the school/college the child registers is recognized or doomed; existent or non-existent. Let us not discuss whether the child gets admission for a course he/she deserves.

By skipping all intermediate stages, families are not sure whether the missing family member is alive or not since they cannot recognize the charred bodies in a fire accident; or an early bird came first and claimed a dead body with a cinematic wail and ran away with accompanying compensation cheque.

Unexpired Expiry

Albert Einstein once said: Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I am not sure about the universe. Time has antiquated this quote partially. Human ingenuity is infinite. If you disagree, read the following news item:

http://www.ndtv.com/news/cities/tamil-nadus-deadly-drug-scam-unearthed-18418.php

While all Indians are exceptionally talented in wide ranging areas and roles from politics to cricket, film star to god men, the most “ancient language” speaking state in India is endowed with unusual talents to a good measure and there is a poetic justice to it. They are trend setters to the rest of the world.

Is it fair to put a label on life-saving drug and make it expire after 24 or 36 months? How can drugs helping people avoiding expiry, expire? This is illogical. A genius recognized the truth behind it. Drugs are like Sanjeevani and their purpose is to save lives and they are immortal. They have self-preservation properties. Have you ever heard of gold or silver or pattu sarees or wine expiring?

Let us face the facts. India is still a poor country despite having handful of multi-billionaires in US dollar terms. We have unusually high wastage and shortage of food and medicines. Food only sustains life. Medicines give second lease of life. While food has a short shelf life and is difficult and expensive to prolong its life, drugs (read as medicines) are amenable to a fresh lease of life by a simple and inexpensive operation of replacing the label. They can be discharged from the warehouse same day! One should admire and reward the ingenuity of the kingpin, the brain behind this operation and the savior of thousands of crores worth of medicines from expiring . Whoever it is, this genius should be awarded with Bharat Ratna without any delay for his yeomen service to the nation and public by demonstrating that drugs do not really expire. India should launch an all out effort to get him, for his efforts to save the lives of medicines, a Nobel Prize in Medicine.

Spectators to Calamities

Some people have the habit of perpetually criticizing Indians for anything and everything. They argue that India has not produced enough thinkers, intellectuals, inventors, discoverers, path-breaking scientists, sports personalities etc. commensurate with its long history, culture, heritage and the size of the population, not to mention the unity in diversity it has! These critics also claim that most of those who are someone in some field have invariably worked, lived, got recognition and even naturalized elsewhere.

Tarantula is always against any unfair criticism of Indians and condemns these critics where it is necessary.

Indians are the world’s best followers of celebrities and spectators of the calamities. I guess this calls for some elaboration.

Can any other country boast of the ardent fans of politicians, film personalities, god men/god women and cricketers as India? Have not you seen the sea of humanity following these categories of celebrities both during election campaigns, film shootings, cricket matches and other occasions? Is there any spectacle of human expression of sorrow surpassing the ones India has when a politician or a film star or a star-turned-politician dies? No wonder few parents in India want their child to have Amartya Sen or Mother Teressa or Ramanujan or Viswanathan Anand as role model as they find any number of role models amongst the aforesaid categories of celebrities.

Wherever and whenever a tragedy takes place in the form of fire, flood, earth-quake, tsunami, train accident, road accident, flyover collapse etc., have not you noticed the same humanity engulfing the space oblivious of the urgent needs of the victims or impediment to the disaster management? It is a different matter that few of these spectators get away with whatever they can and see an opportunity in a calamity.

Didi’s New Frontiers?

Read the interesting news item:

http://www.ndtv.com/news/india/railway-ministrys-ad-blooper-18139.php

Undoubtedly, media is Didi-friendly and terms this news as a simple blooper. Is it really? One can never be sure when it comes to Mamata didi. After all, she may be entertaining a new political agenda and the map in the news item is a mere slip of the tongue or spilling the beans. May be it is a masterstroke of a combined warning to the Center at Delhi and Left-lead government in Kolkata!

Tarantula, being a serious student of Mamata’s political thoughts, feels that one of the following scenarios is perfectly possible.

One possibility is she is trying to shrink the nation, keeping her Railway network intact. Such an exercise can definitely explain the map. Alternatively, she may be working on a plan to expand the Railway network and relocate the Railway stations suitably. This view can also expain the map. There could be a genuine, albeit temperamental, motive behind throwing Delhi into Pakistan and Kolkata into the Bay of Bengal!

Readers are free to have their own interpretations and decipher the thought process of Didi; if they want to discuss it with her, they can catch the next Duranto.

Swig or Two Will Help

Tako Dabi, Home Minister of Arunachal Pradesh deserves to be congratulated for his bold statement: it's ok for cops to drink while on duty. Read the article and look at his countenance at the page:

http://www.ndtv.com/news/india/ok-for-cops-to-take-a-swig-or-two-arunachal-minister-17667.php

To be able to make a statement that has the potential of damaging one’s political career, one should be spirited and bold at the same time. Some argue that spirit and boldness are the two sides of the same coin. Your Tarantula is not for entering into an intellectual debate on this topic.


Tako Dabi’s views deserve to be applied universally, in all walks of life and in all places of work. Armed forces have been applying Tako Dabi Principle (TDP, not to be mistaken with Telugu Desam Party) from pre-historic days. Recently some Air India pilots have applied it and were duly grounded, as it did not go well with passengers. Air India travelers have all along been nourishing some mistaken notion that it is their sole prerogative to consume free spirits.

It is not proven but clearly decipherable that our parliamentarians do take a swig or two before they take a spirited leap into the well and tear up bill documents on Chairperson’s table.

We are living in a world without boundaries and in a world with many boundaries within boundaries at the same time. It is strenuous to say the least. Everyone deserves a swig or two while working or better still, work while swigging!

Look at the positives. Churches, Mosques and Temples reverberating with spirited sermons or mantras surely attract all the youth who have forsaken these places of worship and get them back into their fold. Our spiritual education will get a timely boost. If our academicians deliver spirited lectures, absenteeism in our schools and colleges will come down and surely, the quality of education will improve. Besides, it gives them very little time for stone-pelting in surrounding areas. Our traffic police, after a swig are two, can help free flow of traffic. Our Babus can empty the bottles received as gifts in office itself and throw the empty bottles instead of carrying them home. Politicians of Tamil Nadu can make a poll promise of one-rupee-a-bottle-a-day-per-head and sweep forthcoming elections. Liquor industry will get a much-needed boost. Government revenues will improve. Vijay Mallya will top the Forbes’ annual list of the world’s top billionaires and soon become the world's first trillionaire (in dollar terms) by leaping ahead of Slim, Gates, Buffet, Ambanis et. al. Examples galore.

Thief Toddler

Have a glimpse at the news item:

http://www.ndtv.com/news/cities/kanpur-toddler-booked-for-power-theft-17221.php

Kanpur police and KESCO deserve to be congratulated for booking two-and-half-year old kid for power theft. Such criminal tendencies at such a tender age need to be nipped in the bud else they will reach dangerous proportions as one grows and might even surpass all our politicians, babus, contractors, businessman et. al.


If a child of that age steals cookies or another child’s toy; he may be left with a reprimand. However, stealing power, which is in such short supply in the country and to a large extent centralized needs to be viewed seriously. Police should pursue the FIR lodged and judiciary system should wake up and award a punishment, which becomes a deterrent to all other toddlers.

"Bharat Eshwar" Award

There is clearly an urgent need to institute an award higher than Bharat Ratna; more so since there is already one deserving person. Long after the independence, India has upgraded the highest rank of officers in Army, Navy and Air Force. India has bestowed 5-star general lifetime Field Marshal rank to three army officers. Across the country, senior police officer’s ranks are upgraded, left right and center.

Why is that we have not upgraded the Padma award system and still Bharat Ratna being the highest civilian award? Clearly sufficient thought process has not gone into the making of these awards by our politicians and Babus.

In the meantime one cricketer, who is incarnation of God, is waiting for 20 long years without Bharat Ratna. Now it is too late. Awarding Bharat Ratna to him belatedly at this stage and making him the youngest Bharat Ratna awardee is unjust and insulting him, to say the least. There are 1.15 billion Indians now who agree that he deserves much higher recognition. What can that be? It should be something befitting his stature. Tarantula recommends that Indian govt. should institute an award, say Bharat Eshwar (readers can suggest better sounding title – only thing they need to keep in mind is that it should mean God, rightly so, and be secular at the same time), which should be higher than Bharat Ratna and our cricketing God should be the first recipient, without any further procrastination.

229 Not Out in ODI

Have you heard of Belinda Jane Clark?
Do you know she has ODI cricket world record of 229* runs in a match (* indicates not out)?
Do you know that her record is still unbroken in ODI format for men or women, even after 12 years?
Do you know that was in Hero Honda Women's World Cup 1997/98 match?
Do you know that that match was played in Mumbai on 16th Dec 1997?
Do you know 229 not out off 155 balls was scored in the back-yard of Cricketing GOD?
Do you know that next best record of 173* (for Women in ODI) was set by Charlotte Marie Edwards on the same day at Pune in another match of same World Cup?
Do you know that she is a member of World Cup winning team twice and once ended up in runner-up team?

It is very likely that your answer to all the questions above is a big “NO”, even if you are a Cricket buff. Certainly you know who scored 200* in ODI couple of days back. There was extensive media coverage; any number of editorials in dailies, not to mention the presidential praise.

I am sure some of you are itching to contradict me and I know your line of thought – my son would be the first to contradict me and take me head on.

As a society, we are immature. We do not even give credit where it is due.

For us 200* is 1.15 billion times bigger than 229*. We are happy losers in any team sport. Never mind we have not won any World Cup in ODI format for over last 20 years despite the fact that our team has CRICKETING GOD.

Where is Unemployment?

Very often we hear about growing unemployment in India and world wide. There is only a half truth out there. Indian Government allocates several trillion rupees every year to provide employment under the scheme named after one member of the family or the other. Our politicians and babus scrupulously implement these employment schemes! American government pumps in billions of dollars every week into Pakistan all of which finds its way into the development of terrorist-industry. This terrorist industry manufactures counterfeit dollars and Indian Rupee Notes to supplement their income and augment its growing budgetary needs.

In order to supplement these governmental efforts, private sector has come up with innovative new industries to provide ample employment opportunities. For instance, in Jammu and Kashmir we have a highly organized, efficient and well established stone-pelting industry. All the registered members of this industry get daily opportunities to earn their daily bread/wages by discharging their stone-pelting responsibilities. In addition, they can take home some of their loot as bonuses.

While JK has pioneered such a lucrative and flourishing industry, how can Andhra Pradesh remain second best? Nope, it is not acceptable. It is against the dignity and self respect of Telangandhra people. Note that your tarantula is against digressing from the main topic of innovative employment into split-vs-united-politics now. They have caught on to the stone-pelting industry idea; they have worked overtime on forward and backward integration by establishing related industries. Consequently, we have several downstream and upstream industries all providing multiple employment opportunities to Telangandhras.

We have bus-burning-industry, damage-public/private-property industry, bandh-industry, rail-roko industry, garjana-industry, disrupt-academic-year industry, rasta-roko industry, chalo-assembly industry, chalo-parliament industry, immolation industry (for Telangana as well as United Andhra cause) and die-of-heart-attack-on-hearing-about-the-death-of-a-politician industry and so on. It is clear that these industries need different skill sets. All these industries promise faster development, government jobs (with inherent perks) while some guarantee instant fame-by-flame (by media coverage), martyr status and promise pension to family under martyr-pension-scheme in future. These are new and perennial industries unlike the existing industries like poll-campaign industry, (bogus)-vote-casting-industry and poll-meeting-industry etc. which are only seasonal. It is well known that Maoists have developed and established cottage industries for rail-track-blowing and train-driver-abducting and so on.

Some analysts have noted that these industries are developing so fast, that soon these industries will end up with severe shortage of people, even after opening up new vistas like: one-person multiple jobs; children and women can participate (child labor act may be repealed); no retirement age and so on.

Our FM is going to bring all these neo-employees under tax net to improve government revenues and some informants from North Block say that he will decide before the union budget whether to treat their income, for tax purposes, as salary or service.

Sporting India

A glance at the following link makes all of it clear.

http://www.ndtv.com/news/sports/frustrated_bindra_may_call_it_quits.php

Frustration of our hockey players found a temporary solace and they are back to practice. Not very long ago iconic P T Usha got humiliated. India’s finest woman chess player and world no. 2, Koneru Humpy is having her share of problems with Chess Federation. Now, Abhinav Bindra wants to quit out of frustration!

What our sports federations and government fail to understand is that international sports, like higher education of international standards, need a special focus. They should be in safe hands of people who understand what it takes to be a sportsperson of international standards. Only in the hands of those who can empathize with sportspersons and respect their individual needs to achieve at international arena. They need freedom to perform and excel.

I guess the comparison of international sports with higher education of international standards is fair. If anything, in international sports, the shelf life is much shorter.

One must admit that our senior politicians like N D Tiwari, however, do excel in the only sport which Indians are familiar i.e., the one confined to bedroom.