Where is Unemployment?

Very often we hear about growing unemployment in India and world wide. There is only a half truth out there. Indian Government allocates several trillion rupees every year to provide employment under the scheme named after one member of the family or the other. Our politicians and babus scrupulously implement these employment schemes! American government pumps in billions of dollars every week into Pakistan all of which finds its way into the development of terrorist-industry. This terrorist industry manufactures counterfeit dollars and Indian Rupee Notes to supplement their income and augment its growing budgetary needs.

In order to supplement these governmental efforts, private sector has come up with innovative new industries to provide ample employment opportunities. For instance, in Jammu and Kashmir we have a highly organized, efficient and well established stone-pelting industry. All the registered members of this industry get daily opportunities to earn their daily bread/wages by discharging their stone-pelting responsibilities. In addition, they can take home some of their loot as bonuses.

While JK has pioneered such a lucrative and flourishing industry, how can Andhra Pradesh remain second best? Nope, it is not acceptable. It is against the dignity and self respect of Telangandhra people. Note that your tarantula is against digressing from the main topic of innovative employment into split-vs-united-politics now. They have caught on to the stone-pelting industry idea; they have worked overtime on forward and backward integration by establishing related industries. Consequently, we have several downstream and upstream industries all providing multiple employment opportunities to Telangandhras.

We have bus-burning-industry, damage-public/private-property industry, bandh-industry, rail-roko industry, garjana-industry, disrupt-academic-year industry, rasta-roko industry, chalo-assembly industry, chalo-parliament industry, immolation industry (for Telangana as well as United Andhra cause) and die-of-heart-attack-on-hearing-about-the-death-of-a-politician industry and so on. It is clear that these industries need different skill sets. All these industries promise faster development, government jobs (with inherent perks) while some guarantee instant fame-by-flame (by media coverage), martyr status and promise pension to family under martyr-pension-scheme in future. These are new and perennial industries unlike the existing industries like poll-campaign industry, (bogus)-vote-casting-industry and poll-meeting-industry etc. which are only seasonal. It is well known that Maoists have developed and established cottage industries for rail-track-blowing and train-driver-abducting and so on.

Some analysts have noted that these industries are developing so fast, that soon these industries will end up with severe shortage of people, even after opening up new vistas like: one-person multiple jobs; children and women can participate (child labor act may be repealed); no retirement age and so on.

Our FM is going to bring all these neo-employees under tax net to improve government revenues and some informants from North Block say that he will decide before the union budget whether to treat their income, for tax purposes, as salary or service.